god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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