I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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