someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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