Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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