So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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