i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize