oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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