This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This baby is an asshole
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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