What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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