what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
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If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
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I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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