I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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