Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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