white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
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he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I forget how to act sober
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