Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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