burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize