Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize