So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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