1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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