you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize