Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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