it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize