OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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