Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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