Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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(616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf

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(979): View more from Texas

I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar

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(979): I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar http://tfl.nu/uc7h

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(419): View more from Ohio

It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.

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(419): It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo. http://tfl.nu/e5lr

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(989): View more from Michigan

We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

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(989): We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning. http://tfl.nu/h1ay

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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(616): I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night. http://tfl.nu/m0ls

Replies (68) Good night (2023) Bad night (3840)
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(360): View more from Washington

I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

(1-360): View more from Washington

That changes everything.

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(360): I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy. (1-360): That changes everything. http://tfl.nu/pss9

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(478): View more from Georgia

There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

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(478): There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect. http://tfl.nu/c9bw

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(701): View more from North Dakota

She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed

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(701): She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed http://tfl.nu/42qb

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(216): View more from Ohio

You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...

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(216): You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them... http://tfl.nu/jngm

Replies (4) Good night (2509) Bad night (626)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.

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(920): If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it. http://tfl.nu/6xw0

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(703): View more from Virginia

You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.

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(703): You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter. http://tfl.nu/b2tf

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(347): View more from New York

Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.

(718): View more from New York

Truth. Respect the hustle.

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(347): Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess. (718): Truth. Respect the hustle. http://tfl.nu/ecql

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool

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(919): Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool http://tfl.nu/1a3e

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(913): View more from Kansas

He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"

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(913): He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat" http://tfl.nu/few2

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out

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(814): Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out http://tfl.nu/2z13

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