just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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