dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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