i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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