Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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