The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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