too bad you live with your parents still
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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