soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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