eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
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before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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