My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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