Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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