I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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