the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
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He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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