I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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