My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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