Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize