So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
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We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
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She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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