If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize