just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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