the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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