According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize