I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize