I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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