There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hippo gnu deer
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
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Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize