hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize