when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize