She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize